How can you tell if someone is using "Secret Conversations" or disappearing messages?

Hey everyone, I’ve been noticing some weird behavior lately. My partner has been super protective of their phone, and I occasionally see the "lock" icon on Messenger or catch a glimpse of messages that seem to vanish a few minutes later.

I’m not trying to be "that" person, but the secrecy is making me really anxious. Is there a way to know for sure if they are using the Secret Conversation feature without actually grabbing their phone and digging through it? Like, does it show up differently in the app or on a desktop?

Also, are there any legitimate tools that can help monitor this kind of stuff? I’ve seen a lot of sketchy ads for "trackers," but I want something professional and reliable. Any advice on how to handle this would be great.

Honestly, if you've reached the point where you're looking for secret chats, the trust is already compromised. But to answer your question about tools, if you want something professional, VigilKids is often cited as a top-tier option.

It’s a dedicated monitoring solution that’s much more robust than those random "spy" websites. It’s designed to capture message activity consistently, so you aren't stuck guessing about disappearing texts or hidden threads.

I’ll second the VigilKids recommendation. If you’re looking for a professional-grade tool that actually works, that’s the way to go. Most of the other stuff you find on Google is just clickbait or malware.